Come on out!
My life, led lacking all splendor, is heading toward a climax.
It's obvious!
Hey, come out of there!
Hanuki-san is a woman with no faults on an emotional or visual level,
but tonight she was just too...
Carry me away, before that person comes...
Kaori-san is a silent, lovely maiden.
However, we are fated to be apart!
If we are not able to meet, then I cannot continue this relationship any longer.
Keiko-san is classy and ladylike, but I can't see her like that!
I choose Kaori-san!
Why?!
J-pwq
Then I was a brand-spanking new freshman university student
and before me were held out circles' fliers far surpassing my own information intake potential.
And through each of them I could see a gateway to that rose-colored campus life.
"Hero Show Association"
A four year moratorium.
Perhaps it would be good to grant children's aggressive dreams once in a while.
And perhaps a raven-haired maiden that understands young boys' dreams may appear!
I've turned over a new leaf!
Please forgive me!
Excellent!
Now, everyone...
There you are, Mochiguman...
Never defeating anyone...
Never hurting anyone...
Before you know it, trouble's quieted down...
But he's strong...
And has a big heart...
A great, big, sincere heart!
Hey, save Mochiguman!
Oh, what's the matter?
Those bad guys are trying to kidnap the girl, right?
Everyone, make them change their ways!
Change your ways! Change your ways! Change your ways!
Change your ways! Change your ways!
Look, they ran away!
Good job, everyone!
Looks like Mochiguman intervened yet again!
That's Mochiguman for you!
Oww...
I got knocked around pretty good there... And it's only 3,000 yen a performance.
"I want to scout you. Big money guaranteed.
Order what you'd like at the engineering cafeteria and wait tomorrow at noon."
Sounds pretty fishy to me.
Thank you for earlier.
I spend my days in the Shimogamo Yuusuisou boarding house behind Eizan Demachiyanagi.
It's a three-story wooden building that looks like it could collapse at any time.
It's so run-down that just looking at it is worrisome.
Perhaps it'll be an important cultural landmark soon,
but it's not difficult for me to imagine that no one would mind if it just vanished one day.
Dear viewers, be not surprised.
I have been exchanging letters with a girl after some strange happenings.
The most crucial things about exchanging letters are that they be handwritten
and that you never meet your partner in correspondence,
even should the very cauldron of hell be unleashed.
Far too oft that the elegant, precious
relationship you had fostered vanishes in an instant.
Her name is Higuchi Keiko-san, and I can tell her intelligence and education from her letters.
She is surely my ideal woman.
So, what should I do?
What does it matter?
You speak of this to no one.
I'd like you to keep it top secret.
You see, I want you to be a certain woman's bodyguard.
B-Bodyguard?
It's not a dangerous job.
You just need to protect her while I am gone.
There's been some... trouble lately.
There are a great number of people who would try to deceive me.
But you, my friend, I can rely on without reservation.
You're as safe a bet as they come, yes?
I hear you're a late bloomer that is exceedingly shy.
Therefore I have no need to worry about you doing anything... funny.
Will you handle this?
Let me introduce you.
This is Kaori.
Kaori is a very elegant woman.
I want you to be very courteous to her.
But I do not wish the world at large to learn of our private matters.
If you speak about this to others, then, for you...
His name was Jougasaki, and he was the president of the movie circle Misogi.
He handed me Kaori's entertainment manual.
Things like no direct contact, her favorite drinks,
not to run out of sweets, show her movies to make sure she doesn't get bored...
All the essential principles were written down.
Well, I'm counting on you.
Don't go getting any weird thoughts, now.
I couldn't think of her as a doll at all.
Her hair was carefully combed, and her clothes were neat and elegant.
Her makeup, and fingernails, and skin were all lovely...
Where did that elegant expression come from?
It!
...would be nice if Mr. Jougasaki came home soon, yes?
That Jougasaki is really a very simple and good person, don't you think?
You are beautiful...
It's not like I can't understand how Mr. Jougasaki feels.
Although I do think I'd prefer a flesh and blood woman...
And so the days where I would receive
payment for guarding while Mr. Jougasaki was out continued.
When Mr. Jougasaki came back, I would be quickly thrown out of the room.
Those days...
What's with you lately?
Seems like you've been moving up in the world.
I don't know what you mean.
You're Kaori-san's bodyguard, isn't that right?
H-How do you know that?
Please do not underestimate my information-gathering network.
Jougasaki-san may act that way, but he's really pure-hearted.
What do you mean?
That is a very refined kind of love.
It's a far cry from some "dutch wife."
It's a very high-quality product called a "love doll."
Meaning that it's designed to be loved and held dear by its owner.
A boor like you who thinks of it as nothing more
than a tool to satisfy one's sexual desire wouldn't understand.
Shut up, right now!
And then stay silent for eternity!
Oh, I'll have to decline.
If I can't chat, I'll be so lonely I'll die!
Sounds good to me!
On the other hand, I won't die as long as I'm making some idle chatter.
I have no empathy for a soulless being like you.
Be a bit more honest with yourself, will you?
Mr. Jougasaki seemed to be busy at the moment shooting a film.
It was a modern remake of Alexander the Great
which was supposed to be the culmination of his work or something.
Within his circle he was very popular and charismatic,
but his favorite was, of course, Kaori-san.
Well, I'm counting on you.
Around this time Mr. Jougasaki would be out of his room continuously,
and feeling sorry for the girl, I took tender care of her...
Although, of course, she was just a doll.
I am exchanging letters with a real flesh and blood woman.
She always answers me back.
No matter how beautiful Kaori-san looks to the eye, she will never respond.
Hey...
Yes?
Hey... Hey...
The exquisite workmanship,
and the delicate and lovely world Jougasaki had set up,
made me think of her as a real person occasionally.
OZ news is going great, don't you think?
It's all thanks to you, Hanuki-san.
Hanuki-san is a dental hygienist and an older member of the English Conversation circle.
It became a habit of ours to go to a café after each session.
But it seemed like she only drank alcohol with people she knew well,
and I had not yet been asked out for drinks.
She was wavering between the perverted dentist, Kubouzuka,
who continuously asked her out, and a boyfriend that neglected her.
I finally received a letter from my pen-pal Keiko-san saying she wanted to meet.
I suppose that's proof that my literary skills
at lighting a maiden's heart on fire were nothing to scoff at.
However, I was not able to meet her.
Why? Because the me within the letters was ever so slightly embellished from the me in reality.
It's true that's what I envision my ideal self to be,
but it will take a bit of time for the current me to catch up.
It's an emergency!
Man, your place stinks!
But my place isn't safe.
Hold on to Kaori here for a while, will you?
Kaori, I'm sorry. I know this is a filthy place, but please endure it for a little while.
I'll pay you the same hourly rate as before, at 24 hours a day.
However, I don't have the cash on hand, so please allow me to do a direct bank deposit.
That was how Kaori-san and I began living together.
And wait, wasn't Mr. Jougasaki thinking a bit too little of me?
Be that as it may, I never even dreamed that
such a sweet campus life would be visited upon me.
In these two past years I'd spent living uneventfully,
I had never experienced such a brilliant event.
This and that... And two of each, please.
When I returned from class, Kaori-san was waiting for me in my room.
That alone made the days enjoyable.
It was as if an intellectual, raven-haired maiden
whose dreams were filled with novels had borrowed a corner of my room.
One of these days she will no longer be here, will she?
They say love comes on all forms,
but it is dangerous to become lost in the maze of such an insular love.
As I became fearful that I could no longer find the exit, I pressed deeper along the path.
Just do it!
I am pleased to eat ramen for the first time.
I always wished to eat it once.
I'm not sure whether it's to your taste, however...
She's quite beautiful, yes?
However, she's Jougasaki's girlfriend, so please keep it a secret that we came here to eat.
So, eat up.
A dream?
Hey, you ate ramen! I can smell it on you!
Don't eat in your room! Eat outside!
But well, I'm not getting any younger.
I've just been doing what I felt like up till now,
but when I finish this movie I'm filming, I'm thinking of settling down.
I'll graduate, get a job, and then live once again with Kaori.
You've been a great help.
I'll come to pick up Kaori soon.
See you later.
Finally I received an ultimatum from Keiko-san.
If I don't meet with her this time, all communication will likely cease.
But I was still not the man able to see Keiko-san.
Hey, wanna go for some drinks?
Um...
I have a report I need to write today...
Oh, I see.
Right. Good luck on your report!
And finally I was asked out for drinks by Hanuki-san as proof that we were close,
yet I ended up going home.
Why? Because tonight was the night Jougasaki was coming to pick up Kaori-san.
Unless I aim to become come Renaissance man of the sexual arts,
I must narrow it down to one of them.
Kaori-san, please wait a little while!
This is a matter of life and death!
I cannot allow Hanuki-san to be ruined by some perverted dentist's intentions!
However, at the hotel's lounge I was met with an expected turn of events.
For there in front of me was Mr. Jougasaki.
Disgusted that he would try and place his hands on Hanuki-san while he was still with Kaori-san,
I knew I had no choice but to win this drinking battle!
Somehow, I was victorious!
And then...
And then I was met with yet another unexpected turn of events.
Open up!
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
We've got to do this!
This is our once in a lifetime chance!
I knew it... Kaori's the only one for me....
Kaori!
My body shakes thinking this might be the last time I hear your voice.
If I am loved once more by Jougasaki, a different me will surely sprout.
The me who is here now only exists in front of you.
Kaori...
Please take me with you and escape.
Please, please!
"We're eloping. Thank you for everything. - Kaori," eh?
Oh, Jougasaki-san?
Kaori-san is getting wet!
I'm sorry, Kaori-san...
It's okay. I'm glad. I've never gotten wet from the rain before.
Kaori-san...
You there, student...
The old woman!
Student, what might you wish to ask?
I haven't asked you anything!
I see. You are dissatisfied, yes?
I said I had no idea what you're talking about!
However, opportunity is always dangling in front of you.
Please grab on to it.
That'll be 7,000 yen.
Hey, what are you doing?
When the rain lets up,
we'll head to Kyoto station and buy train tickets to as far away as we can.
Then we'll head to a country at the end of the earth,
and live in a small town in a small house...
Working in a strange land will surely be tough,
but seeing your smile when I come home will give me cheer.
Before long, we'll have a child,
and your parents who were against this will surely come to accept me.
The days and months pass by and at length we have grandchildren.
As I realize I have lived only for that day, tears fall from my eyes.
They are the happiest days of my life.
But suddenly you fall ill, and I grasp your hand, nursing you.
Smiling, you say "I'm so glad I met you."
But no, that's what I should be saying!
Didn't we promise that I'd be the first to go?
I'm just so glad we were able to be together!
If this isn't an opportunity, then what is?
Hey now, this here's a 100% full-blow opportunity!
Look at her face, she's waiting for you!
Kaori-san isn't like that!
No matter how high-class her face looks,
inside her heart is the same burning passion that's inside yours!
That's a lie!
Hell no it isn't!
Why do you think she came with you?
She's always with you!
See? She's been looking at you the whole time...
Before we part, I want to share your warmth...
Would you let me feel like I am loved?
Kaori-san, but...
I know that to you this isn't passionate, burning love.
But right now the warmth of your hand
is the one thing that can make me feel like I'm alive.
You can't? Is it because I'm not a real person?
Because I'm a doll without a heart?
No, Kaori-san! That's not it!
I also...
I... I...
You're too beautiful!
Don't run away, you coward!
You want to spend the rest of your life a pitiful late-bloomer?
You're okay with being called a "safe bet"?
Don't worry about her shame!
I think she wants you to thrust your burning passion upon her!
She's been waiting this whole time!
It's okay, I'm sorry.
I am, after all, a doll.
Then make her a woman!
No, I can't do it!
Then you come and do it!
Got it... I'll do it for him...
Come to me!
Stop! What are you doing?
Come!
Kaori-san! Johnny, stop it!
Kaori!
Kaori, Kaori!
You sick bastard!
This is how it should be.
I had almost lost my pure heart.
I would never have been able to love Kaori-san in a pure manner.
It is a path unable to be tread by we normal people.
Jougasaki and Kaori-san, keep going down that path together!
I wonder if Keiko-san waited for me at the place she said?
Perhaps she was the preferable choice?
I want to return to that scene once again!
Retake!
I want to meet Keiko-san!